Easing Relative Interference During Wedding Planning

It is a sad truth that relatives can make planning a wedding extremely uncomfortable. A bride to be can all too often find herself caught between a rock and a hard place, suffering from an eternal case of trying to please too many people and actually pleasing no one. With weddings, relatives of both bride and groom step into the light just to make life that little bit more difficult – the end results can be a betrothed couple so distressed and fraught with tension, the wedding day seems more like something to dread than savor.

Yet while there is truth in the aforementioned scenario, it doesn’t have to be the way. Many betrothed couples find the stress of planning a wedding almost unbearable even without relatives trying to interfere, and the end result is a poorer day for everyone.

The problems that relatives create can be endless. It can be from the Great Aunt you barely remember who insists on a tradition you don’t like just because it’s been in the family for generations, or the Uncle of the groom who doesn’t want to be seated next to his ex wife. It’s a difficult conundrum to play, and weddings are naturally fraught with emotion, all of which can escalate on the day without careful planning.

For it is careful planning that is the only thing that can save a couple on the run up to their wedding. Quite simply, remember that this is your day. It’s your one shot, hopefully the only wedding day you’ll ever have, and if your mother doesn’t like the choice of flowers then that is predominantly her problem. Make decisions quickly and firmly, and when they are made, stick to them.

It sounds simple, when of course it isn’t. Many brides decide to be forthright and stick to their guns, only to then find themselves the subject of what is essentially emotional blackmail from relatives and friends alike. In these cases, quite understandably, they crumble and start giving in to demands. Unfortunately, there is no sure fire method of ensuring you are not one of these brides. Just try and keep your head up, plough through and remember that even if some people have a problem with the order of the ceremony or indeed the flowers, in most cases when the day arrives and their demands have not been met, they’ll let it go. Then everyone can enjoy the day, and the preparation need not be a terrifying thing.

Avoid The Curse of Bridezilla!

Planning a wedding is stressful for anyone. Planning your own wedding is even more stressful. The entire lead up to the big day is full of decisions, planning, checking, details and a whole other manner of things can make you feel that perhaps you should have eloped and got married in a drive thru ceremony in Las Vegas. Yet while the stress and tension is accepted, this is no excuse for turning into one of the most feared creatures on the face of the earth: a bridezilla.

The bridezilla is an unusual – though not rare – creature that emerges from the body of a previously sane woman in the lead up to her wedding. A bridezilla can be identified by their loud screeches, demands for attention, utter lack of understanding for any kind of human error and the mild sense of panic that hovers around them day and night. No one is immune from becoming a bridezilla, as even the most calm and rational women experience an onset of the problem when it comes to planning their own ceremony.

Avoiding becoming a bridezilla is, for most women, extremely important while organizing their wedding. There is a small group of women who positively relish the role of the bridezilla, who see the opportunity to focus attention on themselves and thrive on the tension. These women, however, are completely unfathomable to most, hence the decision by most brides-to-be to try and remain as far from the curse of the bridezilla as possible.

The trick to avoiding this dreaded condition is simple: perspective. In the months running up to your wedding, it may feel to you like this is the most important event in the history of civilization and every tiny mistake or hiccup is guaranteed to ruin your entire day and – really? You may as well not bother getting married at all.

If you feel an attack of this hysteria, take a deep breath and step back from the situation. Almost any mistake that occurs has a solution, but you’re definitely not going to find it if you’re panicking and shrieking. Step back, look at the entire event from a different perspective, and try to keep a lid on that inner monster. With any luck, you’ll manage it, and your entire big day can be memorable for its beauty and grace – not for the bride crying hysterically before the ceremony because one of the bridesmaid bouquets hasn’t been delivered.

Choosing Your Maid of Honor

It can be extremely difficult for brides-to-be to choose their Maid (or Matron) of Honor. While some women are lucky to have a total one-on-one friendship which only presents one possible answer for the Maid of Honor question, the fact remains that most modern women have a circle of female friends. While you may be noticeably closer to one of these women over the others in the group, it is nevertheless extremely difficult to actively select one woman as essentially your favorite. Feelings of those not asked to perform the duties can be hurt and before you know it, your splendid wedding preparations are fraught with upset and damaged emotions.

There are several solutions to the problem of having many Maid of Honor candidates. The first is also the most simple – do you really need a Maid of Honor? The role is mostly title-based, as there is very little to separate the Maid of Honor from any other bridesmaids during the ceremony. Traditionally, the Maid of Honor plans the hen nights, but most friends group together for the planning and thus the role has become somewhat unimportant. So if you really are struggling to select just one from a group of many, it might be best to do away with the role altogether and just feature everyone as bridesmaids.

However, it is easy to understand the desire to remain with tradition and select a Maid of Honor. If you really can’t avoid it or don’t want to, then there are a few weapons at your disposal. First, you need to establish who wants to be Maid of Honor. Believe it or not, for some women – even your closest friends – the idea of such a valued role is not appealing, and they would be happy to just be a bridesmaid or even just a regular guest. Don’t assume everyone is vying for the position, as some genuinely won’t care. A couple of carefully worded questions will establish who wants to do it.

When you have several names who you know are interested, there is no option other than to just make a selection. Unless you go down the route of not having a Maid of Honor at all, someone’s feelings are going to be hurt. Be up front and honest, announcing your decision and the reasons behind it to each person individually rather than in a group situation. Stress that you still want the non-chosen in your wedding party, that you do value their friendship and that the decision is not personal but more emotive. Hopefully, this will work and people will understand. But just in case it doesn’t, make the selection as soon as you can before the big day to ensure there’s no sulking friends at the ceremony. Give them time to adapt to not being chosen, and things should run smoothly.

“You’ll Just Know”: Finding The Right Wedding Gown

There is said to be a moment in every woman’s life, as she stands before a mirror in a wedding dress shop, and all suddenly feels right with the world. She is at one with the gown she is wearing, and she knows in her heart of hearts – just as she did with her husband to be – that this is the gown for her.

While this sounds wonderful and romantic, and there is undeniably some truth in it, the whole tale can actually make things worse for brides who are struggling to find their wedding dress. The big, white gown is one of the most enduring images of a wedding, and many brides have been thinking of the kind of thing they want since they were a small child.

Yet no one looks at the search for a wedding gown in its true light: this is one of the most stressful decisions, particularly in terms of clothing, that most women will ever have to make. The wedding gown will be looked at and scrutinized by all guests, it will be there in the photographs for years to come and it needs to feel and look right for the bride. Finding something that is applicable for all of these uses can be a deeply upsetting experience, particularly if that utter sense of “just knowing” doesn’t happen.

One of the most popular responses to a saddened bride exclaiming that, even after many sessions in wedding shops, she has not found her gown, is that she simply hasn’t found the right one yet. The myth of the absolute knowledge and feeling of right adds to the frustration of not having made a decision, and all this at a time of life that is acknowledged as one of the most stressful things a person can ever do.

So how does one cope with not having had that feeling and still not finding the dress of their dreams? Well, it may be time to start looking outside the box. If you have tried on a lot of similar dresses, it’s good to start considering options you had previously discounted as not for you. You may find that something you’d never thought of wearing actually feels right on you and you like the look. There is nothing wrong with searching until you are happy, even if that happiness is a general contentment and not that so trumpeted fated feeling. As long as you feel comfortable and attractive in your dress, the rest is largely irrelevant.

Thinking Outside The Box: Wedding Favors

One of the most enduring parts of any traditional wedding and reception is guests being given wedding favors. The idea is essentially a small gift given to each attending guest, as a thank you for sharing in the couple’s big day. The favors are traditionally small and inexpensive, and are designed to last or to be enjoyed.

The classic wedding favor is sugared almonds, usually in a small presentation box which is topped with a bow. These are left at the place setting for each guest, and can either be eaten following the reception meal or taken home as a keep sake as almonds do not go off. However, over recent years there has been something of a mass protest over sugared almonds as a wedding favor, and they are now experiencing their lowest levels of popularity among newlywed couples. They have also become slightly unfashionable due to their traditional role, and the fact that if one attends many weddings during a summer, a lot of sugared almonds can be accumulated. They are also, to a large extent, an acquired taste.

If you like the idea of sugared almonds are your wedding favors, then carry on and enjoy them. If, however, you a searching for something a little more modern, you will soon discover there is a whole market based around wedding favors.

Some of the marketed wedding favors are outlandish, but nevertheless popular due to the unique factor. Small photograph frames or key rings are very popular, as they are both inexpensive to purchase and last for many years. Another type of favor experiencing a groundswell of use are personalized candles, which again are inexpensive and are a lasting gift.

If you still prefer the idea of guests being able to eat their favor, then Love Heart sweets or foil-wrapped heart candy are the more modern equivalent to sugared almonds.

Essentially, think outside the box with wedding favors. As long as what you choose is memorable and reflective of you as a couple, chances are the favors will be enjoyed by all.

Bridal Shoes: Mixing Style with Practicality

Bridal shoes are, by and large, some of the most tempting designs of footwear that any woman will ever get the chance to peruse. Usually made from rich fabrics, beautiful colors and decorated with all manner of jewels and adornments; bridal shoes can turn most women into a shoe girl. Even the extreme high class designers, such as Jimmy Choo and Miu Miu, have a range of shoes designed to make a girl feet special on her wedding day.

Yet there is something that must be considered by every bride when it comes to selecting shoes for the wedding: try and remember how much time you are going to be spending on your feet. It is easy to be – literally – dazzled by the array of pretty, feminine bridal shoes, but unfortunately most come complete with at least a three-inch heel or straps that are almost guaranteed to chafe. When it comes to shoe shopping for the wedding, keep a firm list of how much time you will actually be required to stand up in those shoes. This includes getting to the ceremony, the ceremony itself – which in a religious ceremony can take over an hour – signing the register, getting to the reception, dancing… the list goes on. Essentially, it’s going to be a tough day for your feet and unless you are accustomed to wearing high, uncomfortable shoes for that length of time, you need to be careful.

On the plus side, many shoe manufacturers have identified this need and there are thousands of comfortable bridal shoes available on the market. However, with this comfort there seems to be a complete sacrifice of style, as if prettiness is not applicable when there’s only an inch and a half heel. This presents a dilemma – surely bridal shoes could be made to be both practical and stylish?

Luckily, there are gems out there to be found, where this melding on style and practical is possible. However, they are rare, and finding a pair that also matches your dress can be the stuff of nightmares.

Thus, a compromise is required. Consider purchasing a pair of the beautifully adorned, strappy sandals for the ceremony and for the main photographs. Then, when the reception and the dancing rolls around, switch into something a little more foot friendly. You will therefore get the stunning shoes of your dream, but won’t spend your wedding night patching blisters!

Can Fake Flowers Ever Be As Good As The Real Deal?

For many brides, the mere mention of the idea of using fake flowers at their wedding is something would bring looks of shock and horror to their faces. Fake flowers are seen as passé and the ultimate crime of fashion and taste, and for a wedding they are rarely used.

Yet there is something in using fake flowers for a wedding, particularly if you are on a tight budget – as so many are in this recession period. Real flowers are a real extravagance, with the average bill for flowers running easily into thousands of dollars. Yet when the wedding is over, these flowers are more often than not thrown away. While they may have looked spectacular on the day, this is in essence like throwing money down the drain; fine if you have money to spend, but if things are tight it does begin to seem like an unnecessary expense.

The difference in cost between real and faux flowers is staggering, with the fake version of an arrangement often costing less than a third of their genuine counterparts. While some would say that the expense is worth the difference in quality, many arrangements – such as those at the church or around the altar – and not going to be viewed closely, therefore it is more than possible to substitute for fake arrangents without anyone even knowing.

There are some arrangements involved in a wedding that should, wherever possible, be kept real. The bridal bouquet is an intrinsic part of the day for many, and space should usually be made in a budget to accommodate this. Everything else, however, can be fake and only the most fastidious of guests will ever be aware of it.

Another great advantage of using fake flowers is that you can keep them with you following the big day. Many couples who have used fake flowers pack and store them, bringing them out for anniversaries and enjoying being surrounded by reminders of the day. So while you may naturally shy away from the idea of a false arrangement, it is nevertheless something to consider, and you will be surprised at the quality of fake flowers in the 21st century.

Warm Up Your Feet!

A vast majority of brides, like their grooms, spend the last few days before their nuptials more than a little nervous. This is known as cold feet, and many brides are prepared and ready for it – but it still shocks them anyway.

It is completely understandable that people about to get married experience a little fluttering of nerves, even if they are marrying their soul mate. Getting wed is a huge, life changing decision – both morally, emotionally and legally. It is tying yourself to someone else forever, quite literally for better or for worse. A lack of some apprehension at such a big commitment would almost me strange.

If you are experiencing cold feet, it is not your mind trying to tell you you’re doing the wrong thing. It is the body’s natural defense, the fight or flight mechanism, that is kicking in – a natural instinct that warns us of danger. While there is no actual danger, the mind cannot help but panic a little over a commitment that is set to last a lifetime. After all, almost everything else we do in our lives is only set for a short time. Very rarely do we make decisions that are meant to last until the day we die; even most mortgages only run for 30 years.

The most important aspect of dealing with cold feet is to keep the feeling in perspective. Many brides find that, despite nerves in the week leading up to the wedding, they find themselves calm and serene on the day of their wedding. Cold feet allows a bride to get through her fears and worries, and then be free to enjoy the day itself. When you reach the day of the ceremony, there’s almost no going back – the decision has been made by then, which the vast majority of brides find comforting rather than disturbing.

If you are days away from your wedding and are feeling decidedly uneasy, just tell yourself this: you decided to get married for a reason. At some point, as a clear headed adult, you have made the decision to marry your boyfriend because you feel you are right together. Don’t let these last minute ticks of worry ruin the lead up to your wedding, as you will only do it once. This, of course, is the root of many of the fears themselves, so try and turn that positive into a negative. Tell yourself: I am only feeling like this because I know this marriage will last, and this is a decision that will last my lifetime. Suddenly, it won’t seem so bad anymore.

Budget Wedding Tips #1

A wedding is one of the most expensive things most adults will ever spend their money on, with the average day now costing in excess of $25,000. Many couples feel that they cannot get married despite a desire to, purely because they have dreams of the big, expensive wedding that they unfortunately cannot afford for a period. It is a shame to lose out on several years of married life just because of finances, and in a period of global recession, the idea of making a few budget cuts to a wedding is relevant to all.

It is possible to achieve a glamorous, expensive look but without the associated price tag. It may take a little extra work and some studious bargain hunting, but by lowering expectations a little and being prepared to search ruthlessly for the best deal, it can be achieved.

Savings can be made everywhere, and all without ruining the look and feel of the day itself. In most cases, the venue is not debatable, as everything needs to have a good setting; this is the one area you shouldn’t skimp on. But what you do with the venue needn’t be seen as cheap, just practical. For example, ask yourself if there’s really a need for so many courses in the reception dinner – many weddings are five or more courses, which is often excessive. A simple three course meal is classic, and you won’t appear cheap – particularly if there’s also a wedding cake on offer.

Then there is the cake itself. While a huge, elaborate display with intricate icing may seem your very idea of perfection, much of these wedding cakes remains uneaten and eventually thrown away. A giant, seven-tier elaborate design is simply not necessary unless you have over 1,000 guests coming to your wedding – and even then there is no guarantee that it will all be eaten. The cake is an excellent place to save money; purchase a cake that will feed your guests and allow for second portions in some cases, but let that be that. If necessary, to add an element of grandeur you can uplight your cake with cheap LED click lights, for an expensive and luxurious effect.

Budget Wedding Tips #2

One of the eternal questions for a wedding reception is the debate of whether or not to have an open bar. It is becoming more and more common for weddings to become cash bars, as an open bar adds significantly to the cost of an event.

The way to have an open bar without appearing closed fisted with money is to do it sensibly. With each invitation, include a free drink token and one for any guest they may bring. This is a little more expensive than a purely cash bar, but it is an ideal compromise. Also ensure that there is a free mineral water available – if necessary just by purchasing bottles of water and glass jugs, and setting them on the tables before the meal commences – so that everyone can have a drink if they are genuinely thirsty. It is also worth while doing the same with orange juice, ostensibly for any children attending – but you will find that adult guests also indulge.

Another area of great expense to any wedding day are outfits for the attendants. It is somewhat dubious to ask bridesmaids to pay for their own dresses, though it may be worth floating the idea past them with the incentive that they can choose their own style. If you really do want a uniform set of bridesmaids, however, it is unfair to expect each lady to contribute to something they only wear once. This means you will need to foot the bill.

This, however, is easily helped by the realization that you do not need to buy bridesmaid dresses from an actual wedding store. The mark up in wedding stores is big for bridesmaid dresses, as many brides automatically purchase their bridesmaid gowns from wherever they have found their own dress. You are paying for the convenience. A simple way to get around this issue is to look in high street stores for simple, flattering dresses; none of which need cost the earth. While it is unlikely you’ll find floor length gowns, shorter length dresses are more than acceptable for bridesmaids and do help create a more contemporary feel. Also, if you have a lot of attendants, it may be worth checking with the store to see if you can get a bulk discount.

Weddings are expensive, but by thinking outside of the box there is no reason why you cannot cut a quarter off your total budget. Be ready to hunt for bargains and snap up deals if you see them and just tell yourself this: at least you won’t be starting married life in mountains of debt.